Elusive Happiness

One of the more difficult things I've found is learning to be happy when someone I love is suffering. Logically, I know that my refusal to feel joy does not lessen the suffering for them. Yet, my heart recoils from happiness, as if to feel joy during their suffering is to be faithless to those feelings of love.

To feel helpless in the face of true suffering and pain is one of life's greatest trials. Could I, I would take on my mother's pain and fear on myself just to see her happy and laughing again.

This is one experience from God I would never have asked for. Yet, in some very small way, it speaks to me of God's love for us, His children. We have but to accept, He took our suffering and pain with Him to the cross. If we accept His gift of love, He will take our pain and suffering and replace it with joy as we understand that our suffering is just for a moment. He can, and will take away our pain and fear and see us happy and laughing, never to feel pain, suffering or sorrow again.

He can do that. I can't. I will continue to struggle with feelings of helplessness and may not find my own happiness for a time. But within me, I know that one day my mom will no longer feel pain or fear, and she will be happy and laughing again. God will take away the cancer and make her young and whole with joy to last for eternity.

~Vicky